


unmade

by jessamoo



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Scars, Smoaking Canary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-28
Updated: 2014-02-28
Packaged: 2018-01-14 00:55:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1246657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessamoo/pseuds/jessamoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Oh trust me, you don't want scars like mine." Sara said lowly and seriously. - Felicity and Sara have a moment whilst checking Felicity's wound</p>
            </blockquote>





	unmade

**Author's Note:**

> Set after 'time of death'.

It had been almost a week since the teams confrontation with the clock king. Felicity had set up a primitive computer system whilst they installed one of the kind she had had before. Whilst at the time she had been lamenting the loss of the only thing that could be considered her one true weapon, she was now somewhat glad of being able to start a new system. The last one had been invaded, the clock king had tainted it. There was something cathartic in rebuilding things.

What was absolutely not cathartic was waiting for her wound to heal properly. Though it hadn't exactly been substantial enough to need hospital treatment it still hurt like hell. Felicity had tried stretching round to see her stitches in the mirror but had found the movement to much hassle and pain to do. Whenever she felt a slight twinge in her shoulder she would grimace. Not always about the feeling of the wound but of having seen the scars on her friends. She might have joined the little battle scars club now, but her small graze was nothing compared to the violent marks that stretched themselves across the skins of her team, like maps charting every fight and hurt. She felt guilty to be so concerned with her own scar sometimes. 

She was glad however that the others weren't patronising in their concern. Whilst she knew it wasn't anything compared to what they had all experienced, they all seemed to genuinely want to make sure she was alright even now, and they respected that whilst they might have been through worse - she hadn't.

Oliver and Diggle had quietly hovered around her in the days following, in that silent brooding way they had that she had learnt to find comforting if not distracting. But to Felicity's surprise, it was Sara she was most grateful too. It was she who had carried on checking Felicity's stitches and checking for infection - it was she who would be taking her stitches out soon. She had a dignity and respect that was hard to find in people, and Felicity hadn't expected the completely judgement free attitude that Sara had. She was kind. She was her friend.

She was currently bounding into the foundry in that effortlessly carefree, friendly way of hers.

"Hey you!" Sara called to her with a smile. Felicity returned it as she turned to face her with a wave. Sara came up to her and peered at her computer screen. Felicity could tell from the slightly glazed expression that she didn't understand the encryption codes and algorithms currently flickering across the screen, but it was nice of her to at least pretend to show an interest, even if computers weren't her speciality.

"Is your shoulder better today?" Sara asks, her hand floating to rest casually on the back of Felicity's chair. Felicity turned and looked up at her properly.

"Yeah, its better. Its still a little sore but nothing I cant handle."

"You sure? I'm sure we can find you some pain killers around here somewhere-" Sara frowned in concern. She moved to turn and start rooting around for pain killers but Felicity reached out quickly and grabbed her wrist.

Sara glanced down at the same time as Felicity. After the initial shock at the sudden contact, Felicity's grip softened, but she didn't let go. She couldn't say why, but she was reassured when she looked back up at Sara and saw a small hesitant smile on her face. Felicity dropped her hand back to her lap.

"Honestly, I'm fine. I...I was wondering though, if..." She trailed off nervously.

Sara raised her eyebrow in amusement. "If? Come on Felicity, you took a bullet for me. I think were past the point of awkwardness right?"

"Well, I think we passed the point of awkward when I saw your - " Felicity cut herself of with a hand to her mouth. She stopped herself from glancing down to the place she was about to mention on Sara's body. She had seen Sara half naked when she was being cleaned up after a wound. She hadn't thought about it at the time, but now it was a memory which had slowly crept back to her before she even knew it. 

"I was just um, going to ask if maybe you could..." She pointed awkwardly at her afflicted shoulder. Sara understood and smiled widely.

"Check your stitches? sure." She laughed, seemingly completely unaffected by Felicity's reference to her body.

 

Felicity nodded and stood up, smoothing her skirt down with nervous, skittish hands. She didn't know why she was suddenly being so weird around Sara. She didn't know why now the intimate act of caring for one another after fights had somehow taken on a different meaning for her than before. And she didn't like not knowing her own feelings.

She moved to a chair, the way they normally did this, Sara standing behind her.

"Felicity...I'm going to have to be able to see your shoulder to do this properly." She laughed.

"Oh!" Felicity inwardly cursed herself as she unbuttoned the front of her bright pink shirt. As she reached to move it of her shoulder her hands froze as she felt Sara's move over hers, taking over and moving her shirt for her, slowly and deliberately. 

Felicity felt Sara's hand flutter over her wound lightly and felt a twisting somewhere in her stomach. The kind of hollow feeling that most people referred to as butterflies. Butterflies! Felicity blushed just thinking about it and hoped Sara didn't notice. If she did, she didn't say anything.

"It looks alright to me. We can take your stitches out in a few days I think." Sara said as her hand grazed Felicity's skin. "The you can see your battle scar." She teased, but not unkindly. Felicity smiled and shrugged her free shoulder. She didn't turn when she answered.

"Its barely a scratch compared to yours." She murmured.

"Oh trust me, you don't want scars like mine." Sara said lowly and seriously.

Felicity did turn then too look up at her, worried she had upset her. The way she was sat on the stool meant that to face Sara properly she had to uncross her legs and position them on either side of Sara's. Sara unconsciously moved forward the press her knees against the stool in the small place Felicity had now made for her. She was quite close now, Felicity could feel her blonde curls brushing over her temple when she tilted her head in thought.

"I didn't mean to upset you Sara." She whispered quietly. Everything seemed so silent and fragile in those few seconds before Sara's answer, that anything louder would shatter something in the air irrevocably. 

Sara shook her head and smiled half heartedly, finally looking Felicity in the eye from where she had been looking down at her feet.

"It isn't that. Its just that I don't want you to compare your wounds to mine because...because you think they show strength of some kind. Yours does I mean, you were so brave. But I mean..." Sara looked at the ceiling trying to collect her thoughts. A pang of sympathy ran through Felicity and she took the other woman's hand softly. Sara squeezed it back and it seemed to anchor her and she was able to carry on.

"I don't want you to think that you aren't strong just because you don't have scars from fighting. I'm not proud of mine. They remind me I survived something...but they remind me that...that island, the league...those experiences..." She looks steadily at Felicity, tears clouding her eyes. Felicity was shocked and sad, and found herself mirroring Sara's emotions.  
"They unmade me." She finished solemnly. "They made me something else. I had to become scarred in order to become strong. You...your strong without all that. I don't know how you do it, really."

Felicity felt her lips part. She couldn't think of what to say to this admission. Sara was a fighter, she was a warrior. A superhero. 

"I guess I mean...you don't fight the same way I do. Before I learnt what I know now I never felt strong. I never felt brave. You were brave without effort. You don't even try and you don't see what strength you have! I wish I had been more like you when I first got to the island. Hell, before that even. You don't need a mask and a bo staff to be a fighter. That's real courage."

Felicity had never thought about it that way. She had been so used to turning to the boys for help, for their protection. She hadn't thought that in some respects maybe she could be braver than them. She always though to be fearless was to be brave, but maybe it was just not backing down, even when you were terrified. She felt Sara's thumb graze over the back of her and and realised their fingers were still entwined. She smiled up at Sara gratefully but didn't catch her eye. She followed Sara's gaze, and when she realised what she was looking at she flushed furiously.

She had never done her shirt back up - Sara had been looking at the exposed skin of her shoulder. As she reached to pull her sleeve back up, Sara's hand shot out just like Felicity's had earlier, holding her wrist in place. There was a brief nervous moment - Felicity hadn't ever seen Sara truly nervous, she realised - Sara bit her lip and paused, searching Felicity's face for permission. Silently Felicity gave it, moving her hand back down and letting Sara's fingers push her sleeve back down again.

Felicity thought about what Sara had said, and decided it was time to prove her right. She would justify Sara's belief in her bravery. She stood up, she was right next to Sara, pressed up against her, their hips touching. Sara pushed her shirt down on the other side too and Felicity felt it slide from her skin and drop on the floor. She didn't look, she didn't want to move her gaze from Sara's. Sara's hands skimmed down her bare arms and then round her waist. She placed her hands on her hips and leant in. Felicity closed her eyes as Sara's soft lips pressed against her own. She reciprocated, not realising before this moment how much she wanted this, how right it all felt.

She slowly moved her hands down Sara's back as their kiss deepened. She softly moved her fingers under Sara's shirt. She felt the other woman stiffen against her for a moment as her fingers floated over rough scars. Felicity reassured her by pressing against her further and Sara relaxed again, her hands moving to rest against Felicity's cheeks.

Yes, Felicity thought as they discarded even more of their clothing, she could be as brave as any of them. It wasn't scars that determined strength, it was actions. And this - the feel of Sara's skin against hers, Sara's hands floating to her chest and further down, this was one action Felicity wouldn't regret.


End file.
